Translations

Original: Als Gregor Samsa eines Morgens aus unruhigen Träumen erwachte, fand er sich in seinem Bett zu einem ungeheuren Ungeziefer verwandelt.

 

#1: As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• Mixture of simple and more complex diction:
• “uneasy:” mildly worrisome
• “transformed:” dramatically and permanently changed
• “gigantic:” huge, with a childish connotation because it is so exaggerated
• “insect:” more scientific-sounding and elevated than bug
• This sentence contains no punctuation except for the period at the end, yet is relatively long and complex.
• The details within this sentence include the character’s name, the setting (he is in his bed and just woke up from bad dreams), and what has happened to Samsa.  Imagery includes the mention of an almost unimaginably large insect.
• The structure of this sentence is interesting because it starts with the word “As Gregor Samsa” which automatically draws the reader in to find out what is happening to Samsa.  The lack of punctuation within the sentence makes it a bit confusing because there are no pauses for the reader to process what is happening.

#2: Gregor Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

• Simple diction:
• “uneasy:” mildly worrisome
• “giant:” large, huge, enormous
• “bug:” an insect, childish connotation
• The syntax is continuous, with no punctuation until the period ending the sentence.
• The only bit of imagery provided in this sentence is when the “giant bug” is mentioned, like one out of a children’s story.  Details that hold importance within this sentence include that the man’s name is Gregor Samsa, it is morning, he had bad dreams, and he is now a huge insect.
• The structure of this sentence is straightforward because it has no punctuation (except for a period), however the lack of punctuation does not allow the reader to pause and process what is happening.  The sentence begins directly with the character’s name, then moves onto what has happened to him and the setting.

#3: When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

• Mixture of simplistic and elevated diction:
• “troubled:” unsettling
• “transformed:” dramatically and permanently changed
• “enormous:” huge
• “bug:” childish way to say insect
• There is no punctuation within this sentence, although it is relatively long.
• The details within this sentence include that Gregor Samsa was in his bed when he discovered that he had been changed into a bug, that he had just woken up, and that he had had bad dreams.
• This sentence structure draws the reader in by making them want to know what happens, since the sentence begins with “When Gregor Samsa...”  There is no break in the sentence where the reader can process what is happening, since there is no punctuation within the sentence.  The sentence does, however, flow well because it follows a linear path of when...he found.  

#4: One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

• Elevated diction:
• “awakening:” to wake up
• “agitated:” severely distressing
• “transformed:” dramatically and permanently changed
• “monstrous:” horrific, disturbing, enormous
• “vermin:” despicable and disgusting creature like a rat or insect; unspecific and vague
• This sentence contains many commas to break up important sections of the sentence.  
• The imagery within this sentence is “monstrous vermin,” which brings to mind a disgusting and prolific creature, like a rat or an insect.  
• The structure of this sentence allows the reader to pause often in order to process what is happening.  

The punctuation and syntax within these translations result in a different tone and more effective translation.  The first three translations have no punctuation within them at all (excepting the period at the end of each one), while the last one has four commas in it.  The translation with commas allows the reader to better process what was happening within the sentence, although the pauses cause a less exciting tone.  The other three sentences lack punctuation, so the reader rushes through the sentence without pause, creating a more stimulating tone.  Since the reader is not able to pause, the sentence is also a bit confusing to muddle through, although this could be a positive aspect on the translations because they reflect the confusion and alarm that Samsa feels during his realization that he is now an insect.  Not only does the punctuation of the sentence impact its meaning, but the structure of the sentence does, as well.  For example, the second translation begins directly with the character’s name, while the first translation begins with “As” and third translation begins with “When.”   The first and third translations are more effective than the second because they seem to foreshadow that something of importance will be revealed within the sentence.  Thus, the punctuation and structure of a translation can result in a more effective sentence.

   

    The diction and imagery within these translations also influences tone and effectiveness.  Translations two and three were the least effective translations due to the use of the word “bug.”  It may seem extreme to base the effectiveness of a translation on one word, but the word “bug” changes the entire sentence.  Bug is a word often used in children’s books or when talking to kids about insects, and thus has a childish connotation.  By using the word “bug,” translations two and three cause the sentences to have childish tones, with no place in serious literature remarking on the predicament of humanity.  The effectiveness of translations one and four are also centered around the description of the creature that Samsa has become.  Translation one says that Gregor Samsa was “transformed into a gigantic insect,” while translation four says that he was “transformed into a monstrous vermin.”  Both “insect” and “vermin” are more elevated words than “bug.”  “Insect” is more specific than “vermin,” though the use of the word “gigantic” is very exaggerated.  Though “vermin” is vague, its repulsive connotation better reflects how Samsa feels about his new body.  Also, “monstrous” is a more elevated word than “gigantic,” and brings to mind large, horrific creatures.  Thus, the disgusted tone created by “monstrous vermin” is more effective than the hyperbolic “gigantic insect.”  Therefore, the slight shift in diction and imagery within different translations can have lasting effects on the text as a whole.